Born, 1953, in The Hague, The Netherlands and immigrated to Canada a month after my second birthday. We stayed in Niagara Falls and moved when I was in Kindergarten.
I grew up in St. Catharines and there I studied at Brock University where I graduated with an Honours degree in Biology and Urban and Environmental Studies. As well, I went to Teachers College. I taught for eight and a half years and retired at age forty due to complications with my health.
I met my husband, Peter, in 1979 and we’ve been together for 46 years and counting!
What Actually Helps Big problems can make it feel like you need big solutions. But change often starts small — with moments of contact, practice, and relief. Here are some things that genuinely help, especially when life feels stuck or lonely.
Starting Where You Are You don’t need to be confident. You don’t need the right personality. You just need a starting point. Feeling awkward doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It usually means you’re trying.
Breaking the Ice Most conversations don’t start with something clever. They start with something ordinary. A simple comment about where you are A question you actually want the answer to A shared moment — a class, a shift, a game, a line-up You’re not trying to impress. You’re just opening a door.
Keeping a Conversation Going You don’t have to carry the whole thing. Listen more than you talk. Respond to what they say, not what you think you should say next. If you get stuck, it’s okay to pause or ask another question. Silence isn’t failure. It’s just part of being human.
When It Feels Hard If social situations drain you, that’s not a flaw. Some people warm up slowly. Start with one person. Start with short interactions. Leave before you’re exhausted. Progress counts even when it’s quiet.
Finding Connection Without Pressure Connection doesn’t only happen face-to-face. Shared interests Online communities that are supportive, not hostile Volunteering, gaming, music, movement, learning something new Belonging often grows from doing something alongside others, not performing for them.
When You Need More Than Tips Sometimes loneliness, anxiety, or numbness runs deeper. That’s when support matters most Talking to a counselor or therapist Reaching out to a helpline Telling one trusted person that you’re struggling Asking for help is not giving up. It’s choosing to stay.
A Reminder You don’t have to fix your whole life. You don’t have to become someone else. One conversation. One connection. One small step is enough to begin.
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